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Show Notes
Existential Kink (Carolyn Elliott PhD)
- Amazon USA Store: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081QVG9LW?tag=9natree-20
- Amazon Worldwide Store: https://global.buys.trade/Existential-Kink-Carolyn-Elliott-PhD.html
- Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/existential-kink-unmask-your-shadow-and-embrace-your/id1646780140?itsct=books_box_link&itscg=30200&ls=1&at=1001l3bAw&ct=9natree
- eBay: https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=Existential+Kink+Carolyn+Elliott+PhD+&mkcid=1&mkrid=711-53200-19255-0&siteid=0&campid=5339060787&customid=9natree&toolid=10001&mkevt=1
- Read more: https://mybook.top/read/B081QVG9LW/
#existentialkink #shadowwork #unconsciousdesire #personaltransformation #occultselfhelp #radicalresponsibility #manifestation #CarolynElliott #ExistentialKink
These are takeaways from this book.
Firstly, Shadow Desire: Why You Secretly Want What You Say You Hate, A central premise of Existential Kink is that your life circumstances, especially the ones you chronically complain about, are not random punishments but expressions of hidden desires. On a conscious level, you insist you want money, intimacy, health, or success. Yet, if you look honestly at your repeated patterns, something in you is clearly invested in scarcity, chaos, or drama. Carolyn Elliott calls this the realm of shadow desire: the unconscious, taboo cravings that your ego refuses to acknowledge. This topic explains how early conditioning, cultural programming, and personal trauma push certain desires underground, where they continue to operate in covert ways. Instead of aiming to annihilate these impulses, the book suggests turning toward them with curiosity and fascination. When you admit that a part of you has been getting a twisted thrill from being rejected, broke, overwhelmed, or stuck, you reverse the typical spiritual bypass. This framework lays the foundation for true responsibility: if your shadow wants it, you are in fact participating in creating it. From here, genuine power and change become possible, because you are no longer fighting your own psyche blindfolded.
Secondly, The Existential Kink Practice: Getting Off on Your Problems, The signature method in the book is the Existential Kink practice, a structured way to experience intense pleasure in the very situations you usually resist. Instead of using affirmations to overwrite discomfort, you deliberately lean into it and erotically savor the sensations it brings up. Elliott describes a ritual-style process: you choose a recurring problem, feel it in your body, and then consciously fantasize that you are getting exactly what you secretly crave through this problem. For example, if you continually attract unreliable partners, you might discover a hidden enjoyment in feeling superior, victimized, or righteously disappointed. By giving yourself permission to get off on that dynamic, you acknowledge the payoff that has kept it alive. This is not about masochistically staying stuck, but about fully owning the juicy satisfaction your shadow derives from the pattern. When the charge is felt and enjoyed on purpose, the unconscious compulsion dissolves. The book provides concrete guidance on timing, environment, breath, and visualization so that readers can perform the practice safely. Over time, this repeated ritual rewires your relationship with discomfort and reveals how much agency you truly have, because you are no longer unconsciously hooked on your own suffering.
Thirdly, Radical Responsibility and Ending Victim Consciousness, Existential Kink demands an extreme level of responsibility: if something persists in your life, some part of you is getting a kick out of it. This stance directly challenges victim narratives and the idea that life merely happens to you. Elliott does not deny systemic oppression, trauma, or genuine injustice; rather, she distinguishes between acknowledging external factors and remaining trapped in chronic powerlessness. This topic explores how the book reframes responsibility as erotic authorship. You stop asking Why is this happening to me and start asking How am I secretly enjoying this, and what does that reveal about my desires. In doing so, you shift from moral judgment to energetic curiosity. Even shame, jealousy, and self-pity are treated as portals to deeper desire. Radical responsibility also includes owning your magic: your capacity to influence reality through attention, emotion, and ritual. Instead of using spiritual tools to chase only pleasant outcomes, you use them to integrate all parts of yourself. The book emphasizes that this is not about blaming yourself for harm but about retrieving your lost power from the very places you have disowned it. By accepting total creative participation in your experience, you cease outsourcing your life to fate, other people, or abstract forces, and you become radically available to transformation.
Fourthly, Magic, Ritual, and the Occult Framework of Desire, Carolyn Elliott situates Existential Kink within a magical and occult worldview, where desire is understood as a potent cosmic force. Rather than treating manifesting as a simplistic law of attraction technique, she frames it as the art of aligning conscious will with unconscious longing. This topic details how the book blends Jungian psychology with ceremonial magic, using symbols, intention-setting, and ritual acts to communicate with the unconscious. The EK practice itself is presented as a kind of spell: by enjoying what is, you withdraw the resistance that has been binding your energy and open space for new realities to emerge. Elliott also discusses the roles of gods, archetypes, and spirits as mirrors of human drives, and how working with them can help externalize and integrate parts of the psyche. Readers are encouraged to create small but potent rituals around money, sex, work, and relationships, always oriented toward revealing what the shadow really wants. The occult lens removes the sterile, self-help tone from personal development and replaces it with play, danger, and reverence. Magic here is not about controlling the universe but about consciously participating in a mysterious web of forces, where your pleasure, honesty, and willingness to feel deeply become practical tools for shaping your life.
Lastly, Liberation Through Pleasure, Paradox, and Wholeness, At its heart, Existential Kink is about liberation through fully embracing paradox. You can both want success and secretly get off on failure; crave love and secretly thrill at abandonment; pursue healing and secretly enjoy your wounds. Instead of trying to resolve these contradictions by suppressing one side, Elliott invites you to paradoxically enjoy both. This topic explains how pleasure is used as a solvent for inner conflict. When you consciously savor the forbidden enjoyment behind your problems, shame begins to melt, and what was split off can rejoin your conscious identity. The book emphasizes that wholeness does not mean becoming morally pure or endlessly positive. It means becoming intimate with the total spectrum of your drives, from noble to petty, tender to cruel. Over time, the compulsive edge of destructive patterns fades because they are no longer the only way your shadow can taste its desired feeling. You become freer to choose experiences that honor both your conscious aims and your deeper appetites. This sense of wholeness fosters a grounded form of empowerment: you can face life as it is, claim the perverse delights you once denied, and from there, intentionally craft a more aligned reality. Liberation comes not from escaping darkness, but from erotically owning it.
- Amazon USA Store: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081QVG9LW?tag=9natree-20
- Amazon Worldwide Store: https://global.buys.trade/Existential-Kink-Carolyn-Elliott-PhD.html
- Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/existential-kink-unmask-your-shadow-and-embrace-your/id1646780140?itsct=books_box_link&itscg=30200&ls=1&at=1001l3bAw&ct=9natree
- eBay: https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=Existential+Kink+Carolyn+Elliott+PhD+&mkcid=1&mkrid=711-53200-19255-0&siteid=0&campid=5339060787&customid=9natree&toolid=10001&mkevt=1
- Read more: https://mybook.top/read/B081QVG9LW/
#existentialkink #shadowwork #unconsciousdesire #personaltransformation #occultselfhelp #radicalresponsibility #manifestation #CarolynElliott #ExistentialKink
These are takeaways from this book.
Firstly, Shadow Desire: Why You Secretly Want What You Say You Hate, A central premise of Existential Kink is that your life circumstances, especially the ones you chronically complain about, are not random punishments but expressions of hidden desires. On a conscious level, you insist you want money, intimacy, health, or success. Yet, if you look honestly at your repeated patterns, something in you is clearly invested in scarcity, chaos, or drama. Carolyn Elliott calls this the realm of shadow desire: the unconscious, taboo cravings that your ego refuses to acknowledge. This topic explains how early conditioning, cultural programming, and personal trauma push certain desires underground, where they continue to operate in covert ways. Instead of aiming to annihilate these impulses, the book suggests turning toward them with curiosity and fascination. When you admit that a part of you has been getting a twisted thrill from being rejected, broke, overwhelmed, or stuck, you reverse the typical spiritual bypass. This framework lays the foundation for true responsibility: if your shadow wants it, you are in fact participating in creating it. From here, genuine power and change become possible, because you are no longer fighting your own psyche blindfolded.
Secondly, The Existential Kink Practice: Getting Off on Your Problems, The signature method in the book is the Existential Kink practice, a structured way to experience intense pleasure in the very situations you usually resist. Instead of using affirmations to overwrite discomfort, you deliberately lean into it and erotically savor the sensations it brings up. Elliott describes a ritual-style process: you choose a recurring problem, feel it in your body, and then consciously fantasize that you are getting exactly what you secretly crave through this problem. For example, if you continually attract unreliable partners, you might discover a hidden enjoyment in feeling superior, victimized, or righteously disappointed. By giving yourself permission to get off on that dynamic, you acknowledge the payoff that has kept it alive. This is not about masochistically staying stuck, but about fully owning the juicy satisfaction your shadow derives from the pattern. When the charge is felt and enjoyed on purpose, the unconscious compulsion dissolves. The book provides concrete guidance on timing, environment, breath, and visualization so that readers can perform the practice safely. Over time, this repeated ritual rewires your relationship with discomfort and reveals how much agency you truly have, because you are no longer unconsciously hooked on your own suffering.
Thirdly, Radical Responsibility and Ending Victim Consciousness, Existential Kink demands an extreme level of responsibility: if something persists in your life, some part of you is getting a kick out of it. This stance directly challenges victim narratives and the idea that life merely happens to you. Elliott does not deny systemic oppression, trauma, or genuine injustice; rather, she distinguishes between acknowledging external factors and remaining trapped in chronic powerlessness. This topic explores how the book reframes responsibility as erotic authorship. You stop asking Why is this happening to me and start asking How am I secretly enjoying this, and what does that reveal about my desires. In doing so, you shift from moral judgment to energetic curiosity. Even shame, jealousy, and self-pity are treated as portals to deeper desire. Radical responsibility also includes owning your magic: your capacity to influence reality through attention, emotion, and ritual. Instead of using spiritual tools to chase only pleasant outcomes, you use them to integrate all parts of yourself. The book emphasizes that this is not about blaming yourself for harm but about retrieving your lost power from the very places you have disowned it. By accepting total creative participation in your experience, you cease outsourcing your life to fate, other people, or abstract forces, and you become radically available to transformation.
Fourthly, Magic, Ritual, and the Occult Framework of Desire, Carolyn Elliott situates Existential Kink within a magical and occult worldview, where desire is understood as a potent cosmic force. Rather than treating manifesting as a simplistic law of attraction technique, she frames it as the art of aligning conscious will with unconscious longing. This topic details how the book blends Jungian psychology with ceremonial magic, using symbols, intention-setting, and ritual acts to communicate with the unconscious. The EK practice itself is presented as a kind of spell: by enjoying what is, you withdraw the resistance that has been binding your energy and open space for new realities to emerge. Elliott also discusses the roles of gods, archetypes, and spirits as mirrors of human drives, and how working with them can help externalize and integrate parts of the psyche. Readers are encouraged to create small but potent rituals around money, sex, work, and relationships, always oriented toward revealing what the shadow really wants. The occult lens removes the sterile, self-help tone from personal development and replaces it with play, danger, and reverence. Magic here is not about controlling the universe but about consciously participating in a mysterious web of forces, where your pleasure, honesty, and willingness to feel deeply become practical tools for shaping your life.
Lastly, Liberation Through Pleasure, Paradox, and Wholeness, At its heart, Existential Kink is about liberation through fully embracing paradox. You can both want success and secretly get off on failure; crave love and secretly thrill at abandonment; pursue healing and secretly enjoy your wounds. Instead of trying to resolve these contradictions by suppressing one side, Elliott invites you to paradoxically enjoy both. This topic explains how pleasure is used as a solvent for inner conflict. When you consciously savor the forbidden enjoyment behind your problems, shame begins to melt, and what was split off can rejoin your conscious identity. The book emphasizes that wholeness does not mean becoming morally pure or endlessly positive. It means becoming intimate with the total spectrum of your drives, from noble to petty, tender to cruel. Over time, the compulsive edge of destructive patterns fades because they are no longer the only way your shadow can taste its desired feeling. You become freer to choose experiences that honor both your conscious aims and your deeper appetites. This sense of wholeness fosters a grounded form of empowerment: you can face life as it is, claim the perverse delights you once denied, and from there, intentionally craft a more aligned reality. Liberation comes not from escaping darkness, but from erotically owning it.
