![[Review] It's On Me (Sara Kuburic) Summarized](https://episodes.castos.com/660078c6833215-59505987/images/2300990/c1a-085k3-v6pxrqvqs85x-ktiuss.jpg)
Show Notes
It's On Me (Sara Kuburic)
- Amazon USA Store: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZTYRF2R?tag=9natree-20
- Amazon Worldwide Store: https://global.buys.trade/It%27s-On-Me-Sara-Kuburic.html
- Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/swing-trading-2-books-in-1-how-to-make-big-profit-in/id1472665085?itsct=books_box_link&itscg=30200&ls=1&at=1001l3bAw&ct=9natree
- eBay: https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=It+s+On+Me+Sara+Kuburic+&mkcid=1&mkrid=711-53200-19255-0&siteid=0&campid=5339060787&customid=9natree&toolid=10001&mkevt=1
- Read more: https://mybook.top/read/B0BZTYRF2R/
#personalresponsibility #selfawareness #boundaries #emotionalregulation #valuesbasedliving #ItsOnMe
These are takeaways from this book.
Firstly, Ownership Versus Self Blame, A central idea is learning to distinguish ownership from self blame. Ownership means acknowledging your role in outcomes, even when circumstances were unfair, while self blame turns responsibility into a global verdict about your worth. The book encourages readers to ask, what part of this is mine to address right now, rather than, what is wrong with me. This difference matters because self blame often triggers avoidance, defensiveness, or perfectionism, which keeps patterns intact. Ownership, by contrast, supports agency: you can change what you can influence, and you can grieve what you could not control. Kuburic frames hard truths as information rather than punishment, helping readers notice how they may outsource responsibility through excuses, resentment, or waiting for others to change first. At the same time, the emphasis is not on bootstrapping through pain, but on developing a grounded sense of accountability paired with compassion. Readers are guided to recognize the protective function of denial and rationalization, then choose more honest self talk and more deliberate action. Over time, this stance can reduce emotional volatility and increase consistency in choices, because the focus shifts from proving yourself to improving your life.
Secondly, Meeting Your Self Through Patterns and Triggers, The book highlights that self discovery is less about abstract identity labels and more about observing lived patterns: what you repeatedly do, avoid, chase, or tolerate. Triggers are treated as signals that point to unresolved needs, fears, or beliefs. Instead of asking only why something upsets you, the reader is invited to explore what the reaction protects: a fear of rejection, a need for control, a sensitivity to disrespect, or an old wound that still shapes perception. This lens helps readers move from reactive living to reflective living. Kuburic also underscores that people often confuse familiar with healthy, returning to dynamics that match their internal expectations even if those dynamics hurt. By examining recurring relational conflicts, workplace frustrations, or cycles of self sabotage, readers can identify the narratives driving them, such as I must earn love, conflict is dangerous, or my needs do not matter. The practical value is that once a pattern is named, it becomes interruptible. Awareness creates a pause in which new choices become possible. The topic emphasizes building a vocabulary for internal experience and using it to map behavior, which is the foundation for meaningful change rather than temporary motivation.
Thirdly, Boundaries, Needs, and the Courage to Disappoint, A recurring theme in growth oriented therapy is that boundaries are not walls but guidelines for sustainable connection, and the book brings that idea into everyday decisions. Many people overextend, people please, or tolerate harmful behavior because they fear conflict, abandonment, or being seen as selfish. Kuburic emphasizes that clear boundaries require clarity about needs, limits, and values, and that this clarity is developed through honest self inquiry. The hard truth is that you cannot have a life aligned with your well being if you depend on everyone approving of your choices. Learning to disappoint others is framed as a skill, not a moral failure. The reader is encouraged to communicate directly, make requests without entitlement, and follow through with consequences when limits are ignored. This topic also explores how weak boundaries often hide unspoken contracts, such as I will be good so you will not leave, which create resentment when others do not comply. Strong boundaries reduce resentment because they replace silent expectations with explicit agreements. The benefit is not only healthier relationships but also greater self respect, since each boundary kept is evidence that your needs matter. Over time, this changes how you show up, whom you trust, and what you allow.
Fourthly, Emotional Responsibility and Regulation, Another important topic is emotional responsibility: the idea that feelings are real and meaningful, but they do not automatically justify every reaction. The book encourages readers to validate emotions while also taking ownership of behavior. This is especially relevant for anger, anxiety, jealousy, and shame, which often drive impulsive choices or withdrawal. Instead of seeking constant comfort or immediate certainty, readers are guided toward tolerating discomfort long enough to respond thoughtfully. Emotional regulation is presented as a practice, including naming emotions accurately, noticing body sensations, identifying the story attached to the feeling, and choosing actions that match long term goals. The book also addresses how people sometimes use emotions as evidence that something is true, for example feeling unsafe means I am unsafe, which can distort decision making. By separating feelings from facts, readers can respond with more flexibility and less reactivity. This topic supports better conflict management, improved decision making, and reduced dependence on external validation. It also makes room for grief and acceptance, acknowledging that some pain cannot be fixed quickly, only carried more skillfully. The broader promise is a steadier inner life: not emotionless, but less controlled by emotional spikes.
Lastly, Building Change Through Values Based Action, The book positions lasting change as a function of values and repeated action rather than inspiration. Many readers know what they should do, yet remain stuck because change threatens identity, routines, or relationships. Kuburic emphasizes that transformation often requires letting go of who you have been performing to be, and accepting short term discomfort for long term integrity. Values based action means choosing behaviors that align with what matters most, even when feelings are messy. This can include ending a draining relationship, asking for help, committing to therapy, changing career direction, or practicing consistency in habits that support health. The focus is on small, repeatable steps that rebuild trust in yourself. When you do what you say you will do, you create evidence of reliability, which strengthens self esteem more effectively than positive affirmations alone. The topic also highlights that growth is not linear: setbacks can be used as feedback rather than proof of failure. By treating your life as a series of choices that can be refined, the reader is encouraged to adopt a long horizon mindset. This creates resilience and reduces all or nothing thinking. Ultimately, the book frames change as a relationship with yourself: show up, tell the truth, and keep going.
- Amazon USA Store: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZTYRF2R?tag=9natree-20
- Amazon Worldwide Store: https://global.buys.trade/It%27s-On-Me-Sara-Kuburic.html
- Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/swing-trading-2-books-in-1-how-to-make-big-profit-in/id1472665085?itsct=books_box_link&itscg=30200&ls=1&at=1001l3bAw&ct=9natree
- eBay: https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=It+s+On+Me+Sara+Kuburic+&mkcid=1&mkrid=711-53200-19255-0&siteid=0&campid=5339060787&customid=9natree&toolid=10001&mkevt=1
- Read more: https://mybook.top/read/B0BZTYRF2R/
#personalresponsibility #selfawareness #boundaries #emotionalregulation #valuesbasedliving #ItsOnMe
These are takeaways from this book.
Firstly, Ownership Versus Self Blame, A central idea is learning to distinguish ownership from self blame. Ownership means acknowledging your role in outcomes, even when circumstances were unfair, while self blame turns responsibility into a global verdict about your worth. The book encourages readers to ask, what part of this is mine to address right now, rather than, what is wrong with me. This difference matters because self blame often triggers avoidance, defensiveness, or perfectionism, which keeps patterns intact. Ownership, by contrast, supports agency: you can change what you can influence, and you can grieve what you could not control. Kuburic frames hard truths as information rather than punishment, helping readers notice how they may outsource responsibility through excuses, resentment, or waiting for others to change first. At the same time, the emphasis is not on bootstrapping through pain, but on developing a grounded sense of accountability paired with compassion. Readers are guided to recognize the protective function of denial and rationalization, then choose more honest self talk and more deliberate action. Over time, this stance can reduce emotional volatility and increase consistency in choices, because the focus shifts from proving yourself to improving your life.
Secondly, Meeting Your Self Through Patterns and Triggers, The book highlights that self discovery is less about abstract identity labels and more about observing lived patterns: what you repeatedly do, avoid, chase, or tolerate. Triggers are treated as signals that point to unresolved needs, fears, or beliefs. Instead of asking only why something upsets you, the reader is invited to explore what the reaction protects: a fear of rejection, a need for control, a sensitivity to disrespect, or an old wound that still shapes perception. This lens helps readers move from reactive living to reflective living. Kuburic also underscores that people often confuse familiar with healthy, returning to dynamics that match their internal expectations even if those dynamics hurt. By examining recurring relational conflicts, workplace frustrations, or cycles of self sabotage, readers can identify the narratives driving them, such as I must earn love, conflict is dangerous, or my needs do not matter. The practical value is that once a pattern is named, it becomes interruptible. Awareness creates a pause in which new choices become possible. The topic emphasizes building a vocabulary for internal experience and using it to map behavior, which is the foundation for meaningful change rather than temporary motivation.
Thirdly, Boundaries, Needs, and the Courage to Disappoint, A recurring theme in growth oriented therapy is that boundaries are not walls but guidelines for sustainable connection, and the book brings that idea into everyday decisions. Many people overextend, people please, or tolerate harmful behavior because they fear conflict, abandonment, or being seen as selfish. Kuburic emphasizes that clear boundaries require clarity about needs, limits, and values, and that this clarity is developed through honest self inquiry. The hard truth is that you cannot have a life aligned with your well being if you depend on everyone approving of your choices. Learning to disappoint others is framed as a skill, not a moral failure. The reader is encouraged to communicate directly, make requests without entitlement, and follow through with consequences when limits are ignored. This topic also explores how weak boundaries often hide unspoken contracts, such as I will be good so you will not leave, which create resentment when others do not comply. Strong boundaries reduce resentment because they replace silent expectations with explicit agreements. The benefit is not only healthier relationships but also greater self respect, since each boundary kept is evidence that your needs matter. Over time, this changes how you show up, whom you trust, and what you allow.
Fourthly, Emotional Responsibility and Regulation, Another important topic is emotional responsibility: the idea that feelings are real and meaningful, but they do not automatically justify every reaction. The book encourages readers to validate emotions while also taking ownership of behavior. This is especially relevant for anger, anxiety, jealousy, and shame, which often drive impulsive choices or withdrawal. Instead of seeking constant comfort or immediate certainty, readers are guided toward tolerating discomfort long enough to respond thoughtfully. Emotional regulation is presented as a practice, including naming emotions accurately, noticing body sensations, identifying the story attached to the feeling, and choosing actions that match long term goals. The book also addresses how people sometimes use emotions as evidence that something is true, for example feeling unsafe means I am unsafe, which can distort decision making. By separating feelings from facts, readers can respond with more flexibility and less reactivity. This topic supports better conflict management, improved decision making, and reduced dependence on external validation. It also makes room for grief and acceptance, acknowledging that some pain cannot be fixed quickly, only carried more skillfully. The broader promise is a steadier inner life: not emotionless, but less controlled by emotional spikes.
Lastly, Building Change Through Values Based Action, The book positions lasting change as a function of values and repeated action rather than inspiration. Many readers know what they should do, yet remain stuck because change threatens identity, routines, or relationships. Kuburic emphasizes that transformation often requires letting go of who you have been performing to be, and accepting short term discomfort for long term integrity. Values based action means choosing behaviors that align with what matters most, even when feelings are messy. This can include ending a draining relationship, asking for help, committing to therapy, changing career direction, or practicing consistency in habits that support health. The focus is on small, repeatable steps that rebuild trust in yourself. When you do what you say you will do, you create evidence of reliability, which strengthens self esteem more effectively than positive affirmations alone. The topic also highlights that growth is not linear: setbacks can be used as feedback rather than proof of failure. By treating your life as a series of choices that can be refined, the reader is encouraged to adopt a long horizon mindset. This creates resilience and reduces all or nothing thinking. Ultimately, the book frames change as a relationship with yourself: show up, tell the truth, and keep going.
